The Unwritten Rules of Recruiting (with Exceptions)

I’ve shared this in various forums, Facebook groups, and on Discord, and I know it’s a somewhat contentious topic. However, after over 26 years in the industry, I stand by these principles as essential for permanent desk recruiters. While it may be challenging for new or even some experienced recruiters to adhere to these guidelines, I assure you, they simplify the recruiting process, lower stress levels, foster strong relationships with clients, and help you shift away from the dreaded transactional work many of us find ourselves entrenched in.

Here are my key points:

Unwritten Rules of Recruiting (with Exceptions)

  1. Never Send a Resume Without an Interview Set-Up
    The only exceptions would be for engaged/retained clients or when you’re working on a specific project. This rule mainly pertains to marketing your Most Placeable Candidate (MPC) to prospective clients. The conversation that leads to sending a resume should differ from one that concludes with securing an interview for the MPC with your client. Always aim for a job order or an interview—“Send me a resume” is just a way for clients to wrap up the conversation.

  2. Never Work Relocations Unless the Candidate is Single and Renting
    Exceptions apply if candidates have strong reasons for relocating or if you’re in a niche where relocations are common. Relocations tend to take longer and have more factors involved, often causing delays. We often prioritize “closest to money,” and relocations typically don’t fit that category. While I’ve had success with relocations, those involving spouses and children are where I’ve encountered the most challenges, including fall-offs and counteroffers.

  3. Never Work with Candidates Who Are Engaging Other Recruiters or Interviewing Elsewhere
    Unless you have a truly irresistible opportunity that they can’t refuse. If you’re genuinely sourcing cold, passive candidates—not just those with “open to work” statuses or who applied on job boards—you likely won’t face this problem. It’s the applicants from job postings who often leave you heartbroken and can damage your credibility with clients. Recruiting passive candidates means they typically aren’t engaging elsewhere.

  4. Never Collaborate with Companies Already Working with Other Recruiters
    Unless you have a standout candidate that is truly exceptional. Be honest; a run-of-the-mill candidate from a job board won’t cut it. If you’re working alongside other recruiters, you risk being viewed as a transactional vendor rather than a trusted partner. If your client isn’t willing to work with you exclusively or on an engaged/retained basis, it’s time to seek a new client.

  5. Never Extend an Offer Unless You’re Confident It Will Be Accepted
    There is no real exception to this rule. You should be closing candidates early and often. Just as there isn’t a wedding without prior arrangements, you should ensure your candidate is committed before an offer is made. Continuously check in with them about their readiness to accept an offer, especially when discussing salary and benefits.

  6. Never Allow an Employer to Make an Offer Without Knowing It Will Be Accepted
    This aligns with the previous point. An exception might be to illustrate your value to the client—for instance, demonstrating that an offer was too low. But ideally, keep negotiations between the candidate and yourself so there’s no conflict over money, as it often represents much more to the candidate.

  7. Never Present an Offer to a Candidate Who Can’t Provide Reasons Beyond Money for Wanting the Job
    Except in cases where they’re significantly underpaid. If a candidate is only motivated by higher pay, they’re essentially just a headhunter. I have two effective questions for assessing their motivations: “What would inspire you to leave your current company?” and “Why is this new role more appealing than your current job?” If they can’t articulate reasons, they’re likely to accept a counteroffer and stay where they are.

  8. Never Assume You Can Control Fall-offs, Turn-downs, and Counteroffers
    This is a fundamental aspect of the recruiting business. No matter how much you prepare or pre-close, candidates can change their minds. Accept this reality, as our product—people—has the ability to say no. Recognizing that these occurrences are part of the journey helps maintain your sanity.

And there you have it—my rules and exceptions. I welcome any counterarguments to my “nevers.” I’m open to discussions and willing to reconsider my views, so feel free to share your thoughts!