How do you turn down a friend’s request?
As a recruiter, it can be particularly challenging when a friend asks you to recommend them for a job, especially when you believe they may not be the right fit. Recently, a friend approached me for a recommendation, but I have concerns about their qualifications.
Their experience includes a year as a product manager at a local bank and a year as a business developer at a small software company—unfortunately, that doesn’t align with the profiles I typically recruit for at the high-growth startups and organizations I’m working with.
I know I need to handle this delicately, as it’s important to maintain our friendship while being honest about the situation.
RCadmin
Saying no to a friend, especially in a professional context, can be challenging, but honesty and kindness are key. Here’s how you might approach the conversation:
Be Honest Yet Tactful: Start by acknowledging your friend’s interest and expressing your appreciation for their confidence in you. You might say something like, “I really appreciate you thinking of me for help with your job search.”
Set Clear Expectations: It’s important your friend understands the level of candidates you’re looking for. You could explain, “The roles I’m hiring for require specific experience and skills, and unfortunately, I don’t think your current experience aligns well with what these companies are looking for.”
Provide Constructive Feedback: Offer some guidance on what they might need to improve or work on for future opportunities. For instance, “I think focusing on developing certain skills or gaining more relevant experience could help you in the long run.”
Offer Support in Other Ways: If you’re willing, suggest alternative ways you could help, like reviewing their resume or suggesting networking opportunities. “I’d be happy to help you polish your resume or connect you with some resources that could assist in your job search.”
Keep the Door Open: Reinforce that your friendship is still important to you. “I value our friendship and hope you understand my position. Let’s definitely keep in touch about your job search and I’m here if you need anything else.”
Navigating this conversation thoughtfully can preserve your friendship while maintaining your professional standards.