The Unwritten Rules of Recruiting (with Exceptions)

I’ve shared these insights across various platforms, including subreddits, Facebook groups, and Discord. They may stir some debate, but after 26+ years in the field, I stand by these principles for permanent desk recruiters. While it may be challenging for newcomers or even some experienced recruiters in specific sectors to adhere to these guidelines, I assure you they simplify the recruiting process, alleviate stress, and foster meaningful relationships with clients. Ultimately, they steer us away from the transactional nature of recruiting that many find unfulfilling.

Here are my Unwritten Rules of Recruiting (with exceptions):

  1. #NEVER SEND A RESUME WITHOUT AN INTERVIEW SETUP
  2. Except when dealing with an engaged or retained client, or when working on a specific project. This rule mainly concerns marketing your most qualified candidates (MPC) to new or prospective clients. The conversation that leads to sending a resume differs significantly from one where you’re securing an interview for your MPC. Always aim to get your MPC an interview or initiate a job order. Simply asking, “Send me a resume” is just a way for clients to brush you off.

  3. #NEVER WORK RELOCATIONS UNLESS THE CANDIDATE IS SINGLE AND RENTING

  4. Unless there’s an exceptional reason for the move, or if you operate in a niche where relocations are commonplace. Relocations take longer and involve more stakeholders, which can delay the process. We often emphasize being “closest to money,” and relocations aren’t the quickest route to that. While I’ve successfully worked on relocations, I can confirm that those involving families typically yield more fall-offs and counteroffers.

  5. #NEVER ENGAGE WITH CANDIDATES WHO ARE WORKING WITH OTHER RECRUITERS OR INTERVIEWING ELSEWHERE

  6. Unless you have an unbeatable opportunity that they simply can’t refuse. It’s crucial to focus on recruiting passive candidates, who are often not actively looking. Candidates from job boards or those who are “open for work” can create complications. When you work with these individuals, you risk your credibility and may struggle to inform your clients about their other offers.

  7. #NEVER COLLABORATE WITH CLIENTS WHO ARE WORKING WITH OTHER RECRUITERS

  8. Unless you have an exceptional candidate in mind. Don’t delude yourself into thinking a mediocre candidate sourced from a job board qualifies. If you’re not securing engaged or retained searches, you risk being seen as a transactional vendor rather than a trusted advisor. If a client won’t commit to exclusivity, it may be time to find a better opportunity.

  9. #NEVER MAKE AN OFFER UNLESS YOU’RE CONFIDENT IT WILL BE ACCEPTED

  10. There are not many exceptions to this rule. You should always be closing the deal throughout the process. It’s crucial to gauge a candidate’s interest and readiness to accept offers before they are made. Consistently asking about their level of interest helps ensure there are no surprises at the offer stage.

  11. #NEVER ALLOW AN EMPLOYER TO EXTEND AN OFFER UNLESS YOU’RE SURE IT WILL BE ACCEPTED

  12. This aligns with the previous point. The lone exception might be to demonstrate a point to your client. Never let a candidate and client debate over salary; to the client, it’s a budget item, but to the candidate, it’s tied to their self-worth. If you’ve done your pre-closing correctly, letting the client make the offer should pose no issue.

  13. #NEVER PRESENT AN OFFER TO A CANDIDATE WHO CAN ONLY CITE MONEY AS THEIR REASON FOR WANTING A NEW JOB

  14. Except if they are significantly underpaid. If the only motivation is money, they might just be seeking a headhunter’s role. Proper questioning can reveal underlying motivations, and it’s vital to ensure they have other reasons for wanting to make a change to prevent counteroffers.

  15. #NEVER BELIEVE YOU CAN CONTROL FALL-OFFS, TURN-DOWNS, AND COUNTEROFFERS; THEY’RE PART OF THE BUSINESS

  16. This rule has no exceptions. People are unpredictable, and regardless of how well you prepare or coach them, candidates can change their minds. Accepting this reality is essential to maintain your sanity in a challenging industry.

There you have it: my outline of unwritten rules with some exceptions. I welcome any challenges or counterarguments! I’m open to perspectives that may differ from mine, so feel free to share your thoughts!